Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I have to kill my dog today

It's sad, but setting that date has definitely been the worst part of it.

Yeah, I'll miss her. She's been the one single constant for me in the last 15 years.
But let's be frank, I can buy rugs now. Nice rugs. Rugs I won’t have to scrub the feces out of – dab, don’t scrub! - within 6.5 hours of purchase.

And I'll get 20 minutes of my morning back everyday.

And I won't have to deal with what to do with her every time we travel.

I hate to be crass - well, not "hate" so much as, I know it's inappropriate to be crass - but there are parts of my dog's passing that I'm really friggin' psyched about.

No, the worst part of this experience, by far, is consciously making the decision to end the life of a friend, another living thing w - (ed note. I just had to get up from typing this to pick her up and carry her out side) - ith a real personality. And with just a single phone call to the neighborhood vet, that is exactly what I did.

Here’s how it will go:

• I called the vet last week and we worked out a convenient time to kill my dog, that fits both his schedule and mine.

• The vet will come into my home at approximately 4:47 pm on March 25.

• I’ll let him in the front door and point him toward Lula.
• He’ll take out his syringe of murder juice and stick it in my dog.
• Once she goes limp, the vet will take the body out of my home and back to his clinic (probably in the trunk) and cremate her (I can have her ashes/evidence if I want it).

People have been very supportive. They say things like, “this is the right thing to do” and “it’s her time.” But no one really knows. I mean, she definitely isn't loving life these days, but she also doesn't get to weigh in on her own demise.

I just hope, when it comes time to put me down, no one has to negotiate with the doctor whether or not it works for them to stop and do it on their way home from the office.

The clip below references the ol' girl's namesake - the polish subtitles are just a bonus.


James Becker said...

Ahh, Lula. You will be missed, but never forgotten.

Enjoy the never-ending Forest Park trail. Just think, all the sticks and tennis balls you can handle. Say whattup to Alva for me...

FINALLY nobody around to tell you two to get off the couch.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Maybe the vet will bring an extra syringe for you

James Becker said...


I know it is fucked up, but I still have Alva's ashes in my office...

I have been waiting for the right time, place, reason to liberate them. I think we should take the girls for one last last off-leash run in Forest Park... up to Bruja's Castle and back down with all the usual stops along the way.

Anonymous said...

After I read your post I decided to put my dog down. He's only 8 and mostly healthy, but you've got convinced me that I will be better off. I told him you put me up to it, that's when he peed on my foot.

Anonymous said...

this is the darkest thing I've ever read. It makes me sad.

--Ed Ugel