Don't txt me

It has not yet been stated here, but I'm a cheap bastard. Not cheap like the guy who won't throw in enough when you're out for dinner with a big group - I tend to overcompensate in those situations. But cheap like, I wasn't about to add text messaging to my phone plan for $5 a month.

It was explained to me by the very helpful service provider that I would be charged a quarter every time someone sends me a text if I don't sign up for the plan. I could block texts from coming in, but I kinda figured, as a 30-something, married guy, with child, I wouldn't be tapping out "where r u"s and emoticoms to find out what my "BFF"s were up to, and most people I know would feel the same.

Apparently somebody's missed the High School Musical express and there's hefty tariff on becoming obsolete.

First it was the occasional text. I wasn't about to change my plan over a quarter. Then I started getting 4 successive texts from a single person, which caused my sphincter to inadvertently clench every time I heard the text tone from my phone.

Then I did something stupid. I voiced my resentment to anyone who would listen. The result: a barrage of text messages from everyone I knew, including a few who were sitting right next to me, just to see what it would take to get me a plan. The messages ranged from "what r u listening to?" to "pls pass the remote."

The quarters turned to dollars and in a matter of hours, that five dollar upgrade to my plan would become a $30 dollar value.

I got a plan - so don't bother texting me because I'll never hit my 500 limit. But I got it at no benefit to me.

$60 a year to feed an industry I've unwittingly entered. Ain't technology awesome?