What ever happened to the high-five?
It wasn't pretty. There was a lot of room for error. But it never tried to be anything it wasn't.
Then, sometime around the mid-90s, every suburban white kid was throwing knuckles around like they were Sammy Friggin' Sosa rounding third.
Well I ain't having it. And I'm not afraid to leave someone hanging when I see it coming, either.
So last night I got roped into playing for the company bowling team due to a shortage of players (not because I'm super awesome on the lanes). And after showing up 10 minutes late - which didn't win me a whole bunch of favor to start - I was quickly instructed on the team's celebration moves. Strikes or spares get high-fives all around and anything else gets fist bumps, which was explained to me as our team's way of saying, "better luck next time."
So not only is this gesture being bandied about by non-professional athletes and non-hip-hop artists alike, but now I'm supposed to do it even when nothing good happens. When I get a 7-10 split, I'm supposed to fist bump. When I get gutter ball, I'm supposed to fist bump. I just got pink eye. Let's fist bump!
Honestly, I'd prefer a light pat on the ass, a head nod in my direction, or this
So I told my team as much.
I don't think they truly understood my stance. But I think they were just so happy to have enough players to make up a team that they humored me, and offered up elbows after every bad ball, instead.
For more on the history of looking like an idiot in public: