Hey Direct TV, Suck One

I have never been, nor will I ever be, a subscriber of Direct TV or Dish Network or any other satellite-driven home entertainment service. Unfortunately, I bought a home with one of those horrible receivers left behind by previous owners to hover over our backyard bbqs like some Orwellian cod piece (that's my trying to be all intellectual about the affront to my personal aesthetics. For the layman's version, ie better, see video below).

I called Direct TV, the provider of said dish to have them come haul it away - I even did them the courtesy of removing it from the house.

The first operator curtly told me to throw it away and then hung up on me before I could tell her that I didn't want to be responsible for taking up landfill space and I didn’t want to spend the extra money with my trash removal service since this was never mine to begin with.

Surely they must have new customers in the area in need of the hardware. So I called again.

I asked to speak with a supervisor. I was put on hold for 20 minutes, then asked what the problem was, and was promptly disconnected a second time.

I decided to email Direct TV my request to save everyone some trouble. Here's the response I received later that day:

Subject
---------------------------------------------------------------
Take away my dish

Response (Heherson RM. - 100131190) - 10/28/2008 03:36 PM
Dear Mr. Wahl,

Thank you for writing in to us. I understand that a customer that lived in your house has moved out and longer is using the dishes that have been mounted on your property. This equipment is considered the property of the customer and DIRECTV does not remove dishes. Since this dish was left on your property, you may dispose of these as you see fit. I apologize for the frustration you have experienced with this situation.

Sincerely,

Romeo M.
Employee ID 100131190
DIRECTV Customer Service


What a fucking waste.