He does have over 1.5 million followers. On twitter (1,504,175 at the time of this post).
You've probably heard the breaking news all week that Mr. Kutcher arrived at this astounding number while publicly challenging CNN to a twitter race - first one to a million followers. Now, all of those followers wait anxiously to hear what Ashton will say next. Things like:
@cnnbrk isn't much better. Trust me.
Maybe this is just what the world needs right now. The economy is in the shitter. The arms race is about to go up like a tinder box. And a bunch of Mexican pigs just pushed us into the next great pandemic. Who better to lead us toward salvation, than a hunky kid who has a thing for mommy figures and punkin' his friends.
The thing that's cool about this new avenue for self-fulfilling prophets, like Ashton, is that it's never too late to join the masses, become a disciple and proselytize yourself. Many of these false idols you may be following even follow other false idols themselves, which all makes for a very egalitarian second coming.
So? Who's ready to play God?